"My Story Matters" | Panya Tang '22
By Panya Tang '22
Panya Tang is a member of the Wellesley College fencing team from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and a student-athlete representative on Wellesley's Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Committee.
As a first year leaving my home in Toronto, Canada for college, I was nervous about what my next four years at Wellesley were going to be like. On the one hand, since Wellesley recruited me for their fencing team, I had already met some of the coaches and team members, and I was excited to continue with the sport I had spent so much time on throughout high school. On the other hand, I was apprehensive and uncertain as to where a liberal arts education would take me.
I had a rosy image of college but my experience over the first couple months did not live up to my expectations. As an introverted international student, I felt out of place, unable to relate to my peers and constantly homesick. After wrapping up classes for the day, I often simply returned to my room and worked. I barely left my dorm unless it was for classes and meals. I even thought I made a mistake coming to Wellesley.
Throughout my first year, my safe haven gradually became fencing practice. Surrounded by my teammates in the fencing room, I could momentarily forget about the negative feelings that I harbored. Nonetheless, my homesickness and feelings of isolation were, at times, unbearable. One afternoon, I was wholly unable to contain my emotions, and I broke down in tears at practice. In response, my former head coach, Ariana Klinkov, scheduled a meeting to talk about what happened. I explained to her what was going through my mind and she suggested that I reach out to my teammates more and look into visiting the Stone Center for counselling. At the same time, she prompted members of my team to check on me.
Upon making a couple of appointments at the Stone Center, my mental health started to slowly improve. I joined in on conversations more during team dinners after practice and got to know my teammates outside of fencing practice.
As the fencing season rolled around the corner in November, I was full of anticipation to see what collegiate fencing was all about. Looking back, our first overnight for LIU Post Invitational was the most memorable experience of my fencing career. Not only did we handily beat all the teams we fenced that day, but the team supported each and every one of us on the fencing strip. We screamed and cheered, encouraging each other through wins and losses, and never lost our positive attitude throughout the day. I felt as if the team was there for me and I was there for them. Myself and the other first years distributed small handmade beaded bracelets for the team in preparation for this meet. To this day, I still wear the bracelet as a token of good luck and a symbol reminding me of the first time I felt that I truly belonged in a group that cared about me.
Our energy and support for each other continued throughout the rest of the 2018-19 season, helping us to win first-place at the New England Intercollegiate Fencing Conference meet, a first for Wellesley. In addition, our coaching staff won the women's Coaching Staff of the Year through the Northeastern Fencing Conference. We broke our program number of wins with an astounding season record of 23-6.
"During my time on the fencing team, I joined the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee as the fencing representative, participating in the Body and Mind subcommittee during my first year on SAAC. I was able to engage with members of the athletic committee outside of the fencing team and learn about the initiatives that were taking place in the Wellesley Athletic community."
My second year on the team was equally as amazing, even though there were some initial bumps in the road. Ariana left to take the head coaching position at Cornell and our foil coach Taylor Hood '18 left to continue her journey at medical school, leaving my epee coach, Rob Charlton, to step into the position of interim head coach. Now with one coach for the whole team instead of one per squad, would we be able to perform as we had the year before?
Like my first year on campus, the change was uncomfortable and difficult to navigate, but we persevered and grew through it. Rob recruited Andrew Fischl as the saber coach and Elif Soyer for the foil coach and our team broke our program record for wins and our coaches earned coaching staff of the year. AGAIN.
During my time on the fencing team, I joined the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee as the fencing representative, participating in the Body and Mind subcommittee during my first year on SAAC. I was able to engage with members of the athletic committee outside of the fencing team and learn about the initiatives that were taking place in the Wellesley Athletic community. After my first year, I became the co-head of the SAAC Diversity, Equity and Inclusion committee with Liz Zhou '22 and worked to address the prevalent issues within the athletic community. We were able to help organize a fireside chat where student-athletes from different teams spoke candidly about their own personal experiences on topics such as privilege, racism, and mental health. The turnout was far larger than I expected, and it made me feel inspired that I was a part of a group that was interested in seeing change happen.
Of course, it is impossible to gloss over the impact COVID has had on my athletic and overall college experience. I was heartbroken to know that I had to leave my teammates early in March when everyone at Wellesley got sent home. As a team, we stayed close even though we could not see each other in person. We had group Zoom calls and stayed in touch through our group chat. Unfortunately, I am staying home and studying remotely for this Fall semester. It is upsetting that I am away from the people I care about the most, that I am unable to meet the new members of the team, and that I am unable to participate in the sport that has been so central to my college experience thus far. However, the pandemic has made me aware of just how lucky I am to have a family and strong support system at Wellesley.
Being a part of the fencing team has provided purpose to my college experience. My team has comforted me through my losses and celebrated my achievements. It has also given me the opportunity to find ways to give back to the athletic community as a whole, namely through my time as the SAAC co-head for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. As I wait to return back to campus, I know that my teammates will be just excited to see me as I am.
Wellesley Athletics strives for excellence at the conference, regional, and national levels, while providing opportunities for students to achieve their potential and learn the values of discipline, leadership, critical thinking, and responsibility to oneself and others.